Remembering Matthew...

  Today has been 10 years since Matthew passed away! It's so hard to believe that he has been gone this long. My life continues everyday and I get older every year. Matthew will always be 11 to me. I often wonder what would he be like today? What would he be doing? He will be 22 years old this year! WOW! I miss him dearly, but I've learned over the years to be positive. He is rejoicing in Heaven with Jesus! I'm so jealous of him! I can't wait until the day I get to see him again! I thank God for the time we had with him! He touched so many people and he still does today!

Some stories I have of Matthew...

One thing that always makes me laugh is that Matthew loved women's high heels. He liked the sound that they would make on the floor. Our Aunt, Patty, always wore high heels. Matthew would follow her around the house and tell her that she had cute shoes! Then he might try them on and click them around a few times.

The BEST memory I have of Matthew was the night he got saved. He was having trouble sleeping and came and woke me up and asked me if I knew what would happen to me if I died. I said yes I would go to Heaven and he asked how I knew that. He told me he was scared about dying and go to hell. I talked with him about being saved and led him through the Bible. I told him it was something no one could do for him, he had to do it himself. So he prayed a sinners prayer and after he was done he had tears coming out of his eyes. He said he had a calm feeling inside and he wasn't afraid anymore. I was a little hesitant being he was young. But I got saved when I was eight and that's how old he was. Fast forward to a week before he died...his mom was cooking in the kitchen and Matthew came into the kitchen and asked her if she knew where she was going to go when she died. She asked him why he was asking her questions. He said, "Mommy, don't worry about me when I die, I know I'm going to Heaven. I'm saved. My sissy talked to me about it." It was weird at the time. Now, it's a gift from God that he said that. I had been worried after he died what if he didn't understand? or what if he really wasn't and thought he was? When Matthew's mom told me this story a peace came over me. I knew in my heart for sure that he was in Heaven. I'm thankful for the preparation that God gave Matthew the weeks before he died. Many, many things happened that we didn't think twice about at the time. Now it all makes perfect sense. I'm so thankful God had his hand on Matthew. And I'm so thankful that I had the opportunity to lead him to Jesus.

Bad News...



This is Courtney!!




Those were the very words, "Alis we have bad news", I received today at 3:00. I went this morning for my blood test to see if I was pregnant. I had taken multiple home pregnancy tests and they were all negative, so I knew in my heart that it was probably not going to be good. I was bummed even though deep down I knew. Dr. J's nurses, Courtney & Jacie, called me to tell me the news. I could tell as soon as I heard her voice that it was negative. To top it all off...my grandma and I were shopping in Babies-R-Us when I got the call. My grandma handled it worse than I did. She just didn't want me to hurt. I really had thought this would work even though the chance of it working was only 15-20%, which is what normal couples have each month. God really gave me the peace and comfort I needed. We had a Valentine banquet at Church and I had to MC the newlywed game. The banquet really took my mind off of what I was thinking and feeling. The following couple of days...I crashed. My hormones were dropping due to the lack of medication I had been on, and I literally felt like someone had died. After many conversations together, Jared and I decided to try it again. You have the highest chance of it working the second time around. We decided that after this time if it doesn't work, we will move on to IVF.



This is Jacie!



Cake Tasting!

My lifelong friend, Audrey, is getting married October 12th! Today we are having a cake tasting at her parent's house. I'm so excited to be a part of the planning process!! I'm so incredibly happy for Audrey. She is such a sweet, wonderful woman of God and I'm so glad she found the love of her life! She deserves so much happiness!

IUI is Finally Here!

It's so hard to believe that we had the procedure today! It has been the longest two weeks I've had to experience so far! I know the two week waiting period will be TOUGH! I'm so nervous/excited to see what the outcome is. Even if our test is negative..I feel so positive and relieved to be doing something to achieve having a baby.

Adding a Medication to My List

Today I started progesterone suppositories. I was nervous about the application of the suppositories because it's very important to get it close to the cervix. My IUI is tomorrow and I've been praying non-stop! Crazy that even when I went to sleep my mind was still talking to God. I even woke up and was praying without even knowing. I know Jesus is making intercession for us, regardless of the outcome. I know God's plan is so much bigger than I could even imagine. I'm excited about tomorrow and nervous! No matter what the outcome...Jesus is on my side!

Ultrasound #3 & Trigger Shot

I went to the doctor today for my last ultrasound. Everything looked so good!! My follicles have grown to the size they need to be, and I will do the trigger shot tonight at 8:00. Both of my follicles were measuring 20mm which is where they need to be. The IUI will be Friday morning at 11:00AM. I can't believe it's already time for the IUI. We have talked about doing this for so long and now it's here. I'm praying this is God's will to work out...if it isn't it won't.

Update: The trigger shot was done at 8:00PM on the dot! It didn't hurt to bad contrary to what I've heard. I guess I'm a pro at shots by this point though. I have to wear two estrogen patches and change them every 72 hours. I'm so excited for Friday to get here. I have to start suppositories tomorrow morning three times a day. This should be interesting...

Ultrasound Scan #2

I have been praying for my uterine lining of my uterus to thicken. It was only 3.4mm on my first scan day, so I was praying that follistim would work to improve it. I knew that if God wanted to fix this problem he could. God is in control. And just when you think God is silent, He is usually doing the most work. I praise him today for thickening my lining. My appt. couldn't have gone better! My lining today was up to 8.6mm. My follicular growth was increased also! I go back on Wednesday for my next scan and e2 blood work. I'm praying that everything continues on the right path! God has brought us this far and we have to have Faith in Him to carry us through this process. To God be the glory!!