Every Girl's Dream!

We FINALLY got our new walk-in closet done!!! I love walking around inside of it..it's like my own dressing room, (even though I have to share it with Jared haha.)  A HUGE thanks to my Grandpa for building all of the built-ins and getting everything done while I've been out of commission.

My Side! Minus a few purses!

My Vanity



My Pinterest project!



Jared's side



I LOVE my table!







We are Blessed!

This morning we headed to St. Louis for our embryo transfer!!! We decided that if any of our four embryos that weren't doing so well survived we would transfer three, but otherwise we would transfer two. We know the statistics of usually it takes three rounds of IVF to work, so we wanted to have enough embryos for three cycles. I had to drink water the whole way to fill my bladder which is incredibly hard to do. It's always harder to drink water when you have to, than when you want to. When we got to the doctor's office, Jared said, "Did you pray on the way up here?" I said "Yes the whole way!" He said, "Me too!" I prayed all night when I would wake at any moment, asking God to let just one of those four that weren't doing so well to survive. We got to the office and I was about to BURST! They let me go to the bathroom and then sip water to fill back up. Dr. J called into his office and said well I have very good news...the four that weren't doing so well divided and are doing well! He also told us that the one he did rescue icsi on survived as well!! That meant we had 11 embryos total!! God is AMAZING!!! He never ceases to amaze me, and He exceeded our expectations of what we had asked of Him! God has His hand on us and our babies and we are soooo very thankful!! Dr. J also showed us the egg that was conjoined. I have never seen anything like that before! He also went over each individual embryo, showed us a picture of the best ones, and told us what each grade was. The embryologist grades all embryos on a scale of  1-4. One is the best and four is not so great! Turns out we have 9 grade 1 embryos which is the best grade you can get, and we have 2 grade 2, which is still great!!! Again, God is AMAZING!! Dr. J then asked us the question of the hour, "How many do you want to transfer?" After going over statistics and talking about things that could happen later on down the road...we decided to only transfer two. Which meant we have 9 left to freeze. I was worried about the 9 making it to the freeze point, but he said with all the new technology, they had an 80 percent chance of all of them making it. If not, we would only lose one or two. Still a great number, since we went into this thinking that we only had six and after transfer only four. We are so blessed that we have plenty of embryos for future use!!
Utter excitement and a peace that is indescribable came over me after the short meeting with Dr. J. It was just what I needed before the transfer!

We went into the exam room and Dr. J came in to do the transfer. This was beyond the most surreal moment of my life thus far. Before the transfer, Dr. J asked if we wanted to say a prayer! Again so thankful he asked me this. I of course said yes! Jared wanted to pray so he said a prayer aloud with us before we got started. Tears of joy were streaming down my face as my husband was asking God to protect me and to be with our babies and help them to grow. Another reason I know Jared is going to be an amazing daddy! He is such a wonderful Christian husband that leads his family and I know he always will! We got started with the transfer and Dr. J knowing Jared is an ultrasound tech asked him if he would be interested in doing the ultrasound while he put the embryos in. Jared immediately found the correct spot to place the embryos.

This was the most joyous experience of my life! It looked like two small shooting stars shooting across the screen. There they were. Our babies, our two peas in a pod! I was rejoicing in my heart, praising God for all he had done and for creating life! After the transfer I laid there for about 20 minutes as Jared and I both were texting all of our family and friends the pictures of our two babies! Our phones were going crazy from people responding. I know God was smiling down, because everyone knows it's all Him, not us. He can do all things, and He did! We should know in a couple weeks if the babies or baby took. Either way...nothing changes. God is still amazing and will always be the center of our life. I have Faith though, that he will work it out for our good, because He has already done so much in the experience! I know He isn't done yet!!

The last thing I want everyone to know...
If you haven't already given your life to God. Please do so! He is an amazing God and loves and adores His children. I could not imagine my life without Him. After seeing human life created because God has given doctors the ability to do a lot of things is indescribable. Please give your life over to the Almighty God who sent His only son to save us from our sins. Ask Him to be the Savior of your life today!! It's not hard to do! Just don't wait another day! All people have sinned, and no one is better than the other! Today more than ever, I trust God, I have more Faith, and I can't even describe my love for Him! You will have a peace that passes all understanding!! Become a child of God today, I promise you will not regret it!!! Please feel free to talk to me if you need too!!

"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life."  -John 3:16

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."  -Romans 3:23



Nervous & Anxious!

Today Dr. J called around noon to tell me about how our embryos are growing. He said it was good news, we had six growing strong. The other four were not doing so well. He said that he would continue to watch them until tomorrow, but was unsure of how they would develop. He also said that he was going to perform "Rescue ICSI" on one of the embryos that wasn't initially fertilized, but the chances of it working were low. I was overwhelmed upon hearing this because we had 10 yesterday and now 6 good ones. We are thankful for those 6, however, I know God can do all things. If He wants those five survive they will.

I headed to walmart and was given a God moment! Kami, our Pastor's wonderful wife, was at walmart and I happened to pull in and park right in front of her car. She was loading her groceries, and I began to tell her what the doctor had said. I was a little down because of the fact I thought we might lose four embryos. She hugged me and prayed with me at that moment. I know God gave me that! It was what I needed! Kami is such a kind hearted, soothing, woman of God! She calmed any fears that I had in my heart. Thank you God for sending us both there at that time for your purpose!

Our transfer will be tomorrow which is day 3! We have to be there at 8:45AM to see our babies, and the transfer will be at 9:00AM. I'm very excited, nervous, and anxious!

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."
-Hebrews 11:1

The Good News...We are Officially Parents...to 10 Embryos!

Jared got called into work this morning and I was home waiting on him to get back so we could get ready to go to Church. I wasn't expecting to hear from Dr. J since he said that it could be by this evening. My phone rang and I jumped off the bed and there it was, Dr. J calling! This was the longest, scariest minutes of my life as he was asking me how I was feeling, and if I was having and side effects from the egg retrieval. He finally said, "I have good news, very good news." You guys have ten embryos!!!! AHHHHH!!!! Jared and I are parents to ten babies! He started telling me about the process and how everything came to be. It turns out, there was a problem with me eggs. My eggs have a hard outer shell making it nearly impossible for Jared's sperm to get inside. Since we had 20 eggs, 18 mature, Dr. J did a process called ICSI, which is where he injects the egg with sperm to fertilize it, with 10 of the eggs. The other 10 he left to see if they would fertilize on their own. Out of the 10 ICSI eggs, 7 fertilized. Out of the 10 that were left to fertilize on their own, only 3 fertilized. That is incredible. We have been trying for three years, and to find out that this was the issue was a relief as crazy as that sounds. We finally know why we weren't getting pregnant! We of course have to wait and see how the 10 grow over the next couple days and we will either transfer so many Tuesday or Thursday. I'm so excited! We will have enough to transfer and enough to freeze for later use, given that all 10 live! After getting off the phone with Dr. J, I dropped to my knees and bawled, praising and thanking God for giving the gift of life! He blessed us in this situation! Jared came up the driveway not long after and I ran outside on the porch and told him we were parents. It was the most incredible, wonderful, exciting moment of my life thus far. We both have been on cloud nine all day! It's so surreal to know that we have 10 babies!! Of course, if the babies don't implant, we still had them, and they will be with our Almighty God who gave them to us to begin with. What a sweet gift to get in Heaven. Our children. I know that God has brought us this far, and he will take care of those babies. He could've changed the outcome at any time, but He blessed. I can't even begin to describe the feeling I have inside. I feel like I have a glow of light around me. The funny thing is I'm not carrying them YET...but it feels just as sweet. I can't imagine how I will feel when I find out that I'm officially carrying them! Life begins at conception, and those ten embryos are our children!

We went to Church where I of course had to share the news with my grandparents and everyone else. We have so much support from our Church friends and family! We cried together, and praised God for these miracles! God definitely got and will get all the glory!! This isn't to benefit us. It's all for Him. We hope that you don't look at us and what we have been through and only see Jared and I...but when you look at us you see HIM!!!

Devotional: "Expecting: Praying for your Child's Development Body & Soul":
This week focuses on a tiny egg!!
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petitions, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:6-7
Father, we're getting ever closer to the day that our little baby is a living, growing reality inside of me. It's so hard for me to wrap my mind around that possibility. There might be a baby in my near future! So many emotions are swirling around in my head. I need your peace, God. I need you to wrap me in your arms and tell me everything is going to be okay. I need your blessed reassurance. I don't know how you're going to calm my tangled-up emotions, but I believe you can. Your peace transcends my human understanding but that's why you're God and I'm not. Enough about me, Lord. I pray for my soon-to-be child. I so want him/her to get off to a beautiful start in life. I want him/her to be strong and independent and unique and glowing. I want him/her to know love and hope and faith. I want him/her to be everything she dreams of being- everything You dream for him/her.

Twenty

I had my egg retrieval today and Dr. J got 20 eggs!!

My appointment was at nine in the morning. Jessica, who I had met at the office, was before me. I was scared I wouldn't wake up from the anesthetic, and Jessica's husband told us she was scared of that too! I have never been put out for anything before, so I was very anxious! I went back and talked to the anesthesiologist Dr. Williams. He told me he had been doing this for over thirty years, which really relieved me. He was a very kind man and very soothing. We then went into the exam room where I undressed from the waist down and put on a little paper cover. Dr.   J and Dr. Williams came in and were soon prepping me for the procedure. I was praying the entire time and begging God to allow them to get enough good eggs, to let me live, and to bless us with a child. I got my IV in my arm and was told it would take 10 seconds for me to go to sleep once they injected the medication which was propofol. Dr. Williams put the electrodes on my body to monitor my heart rate, and he put an oxygen mask over my face. I was so relaxed at this point. The next thing I know I woke up. I didn't feel a thing. I was told I had 20 eggs which I told Jared when he came in that they got 200. I guess I was a little out of it! I was moved to recovery, where I stayed a short period of time. I had read so much about egg retrieval and how much pain you feel after. I wasn't feeling anything at all. Maybe a little soreness, that's it. Dr. J came in and told us that it looked as though there weren't as many cells on the outside of the egg as he had hoped, and we also had a conjoined egg( two eggs stuck together.) This is very rare to have this. I left the office feeling happy that the hardest part was over, but at the same time nervous that none will fertilize. Do I have bad eggs? What's wrong with them? So many questions....



In Recovery



I won't hear from Dr. J until tomorrow sometime. As for the rest of the day, I have to take it easy and stick to a low carb diet to avoid getting OHSS. Which is ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome and can be caused from my ovaries being enlarged. It's going to be a long night! Worrying and waiting. I know that God is in control. And if he wants this He will bless us!! Praise be to God for getting us this far!

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."

-Romans 8:28

Preparations!

I am preparing for the egg retrieval tomorrow morning. It will be at 9AM. It should take about an hour or so and I'll wake up and know how many eggs Dr. J retrieved. I have to start Crinone gel today to help my uterus to be sticky for the embryos, today is our last dose of doxycycline, and I have to do a beta dine wash this evening. Lots to do but it's so worth it!! I'm so excited for tomorrow to get here...I hope I sleep tonight!

No More Shots!

Today is my last lupron shot and my Ovidrel shot tonight!! I'm so happy to be done! I have plenty of bruises on my stomach to last me a while! I have to do the Ovidrel shot at 9:00PM on the dot! The shot has to be injected 36 hours prior to retrieval.

I also started my estrogen patches! I wear two patches and change them every three days.

What a relief to be done with the medication and shots. I do have to start crinone gel tomorrow, and do a betadine wash. It seems like it took forever to get here, and now the process is almost over! Dr. J is estimating probably around 15 eggs for sure, but maybe more! I can't wait to wake up tomorrow and find out how many we have!!! Jared, my grandma, and Jared's mom are going tomorrow. I know God's hand has been in this process every step of the way. He could've not allowed any of this to happen, but He did! I know Dr. J is doing all he can...and I know God will either give us His blessing or tell us to wait. This was just our journey, and it's been an amazing, exciting, stressful, peaceful, educating time in our life. I wouldn't change the journey for anything. People always think I'm crazy for saying that, but without this journey I wouldn't be where I am in my relationship with God. I wouldn't have the bond and closeness that Jared and I have now. I wouldn't be the strong woman that I am today. I thank God for this journey and for blessing us beyond what we could ever imagine all the way! Either way...God isn't changing and our relationship with Him isn't changing. He is the same today, tomorrow, and forever!!!

"The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercry, O Lord, endures forever; Do not forsake the works of your hands."
-Pslams 138:8