In Vitro Fertilization

In vitro fertilization is often referred to as IVF. IVF is the process of fertilization by manually combining an egg and sperm in a laboratory dish. When the IVF procedure is successful, the process is combined with a procedure known as embryo transfer, which involves physically placing the embryo in the uterus.

Dr. J went over all of the steps of IVF with us at our last appt. It's a very interesting process! There are four main steps to the process and he told us our chances of everything working out correctly would be 85-95% I was very relieved by hearing this. Our overall chances of this working is 55-65% which is significantly higher than the 15-20% given for normal couples or IUI. He said that we would be on the higher end since we are unexplained. So I'll take those chances. It of course comes with a hefty price tag. (Thank you to Jared's parents!) The first cycle will be 10,000 just for the procedure. The medication and ICSI will be an additional 3,000. ICSI is the process of Dr. J physically making an entry in the side of the egg and inserting sperm. ICSI is optional but takes away the unknown of fertilization. At our egg retrieval he is hoping to extract 10-15 eggs it could be higher just depending on how well I respond to the medication. They will then fertilize them, and watch them grow for about five days. Five days after the egg retrieval we will have an embryo transfer. The good thing is...if we have to do it again the price drops significantly to 3500 for each additional time until we have no embryos left. He said it was up to us how many to transfer but he doesn't like to do more than 3. Given the fact that it could result in multiples due to the embryo splitting. I think we have pretty much decided to transfer 2. I've read a lot about it and the success rates seem higher with transferring 2. After the transfer, I will be on bed rest for a couple days. About about 10 days later we will know if it was successful! I'm most nervous about the egg retrieval and being put out. I've never been put out for anything before, so I guess I'm just more anxious than anything.

Dr. J. told us that we had four options for our embryos. We could use them whenever we decided to have more children, we could freeze them forever, we could adopt them to other couples, or we could have them destroyed. The last option really upset me. Dr. J. said he doesn't like doing it but sometimes has to for other couples. I told him we definitely wouldn't be interested in doing that. I did however ask the process of how it is done. He said that they thaw them out, and lay the embryos on a paper towel and wait for them to dry out. It takes approx. 5 days. I don't know how people can think that it isn't alive. It would instantly die if it was nothing, but it doesn't.  If it is successful we will make a decision on if we want more or if we want to give our embryos up for adoption. This has been the part of our story that people raise their eyebrows on. I've gotten "How weird that you guys would have kids out there somewhere", and "Oh I could never do that." I look at it two ways...We can give them to a family who is struggling far beyond what we have experienced and may never have a child of their own, and if we destroy them it's the same as abortion. It isn't just an egg, it's a baby growing. Until you have had to go through something like this, you can never know what it is like. If Jared and I were in that situation I would love for someone to have given their embryos up so that we could have our own child. I have often been wondering if Jared and I are going through this experience to help someone else. I am always thinking about who I will encounter in my life that I can talk to about this journey, and hopefully help them with their struggle.

This has been a long, incredible journey! I can sit here honestly today and say that I wouldn't change a thing! I've been asked by a few people, "What if you could go back and have a baby instantly or take the path you've had to take?" A year ago, I would've said I want to go back, but now...I wouldn't! Jared and I had a close marriage and relationship that I thought couldn't be better. I was wrong. We have grown so much and love each other so much more today than we did three years ago. Aside from my marriage being stronger than it ever has been, my relationship with God has grown incredibly. I've learned that He is in control no matter what I do or try to accomplish, I'm nothing without Him. I've learned that prayer is not just for when you are in trouble. I pray more now than I ever have in my life. It's sometimes what gets me through my day. And as I am doing housework or cooking, I find myself just talking to God. I feel as though my prayer never ceases. It seems that I'm always in a prayerful mind. I've learned that God's timing is best! We could have done treatments a long time ago, but we weren't ready. I think God prepared our mind and heart for this day that we would come to. I know we are where God wants us to be at this very moment. Every experience we have had has been part of His master plan. Our Faith has been tested! But what is the point of having Faith if it's never challenged. I was thinking back over my life when my Faith has been tested and I'm so glad I can add this to my list. I love the Bible verse, "So, I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe, that you have recieved it, and it will be yours." -Mark 11:24. Faith is not just thinking God can, it is trusting that He will. I have learned that keeping this a secret isn't helping anyone. God will get all of the glory when he decides it's time for Jared and I to have a baby. May it be through this or not. But how will God get all of the glory if we don't tell about our journey and how far he has brought us? I'm so thankful God has given doctors the ability to do these types of things. Dr. J. can do all he can do, but God has the final say whether this works or not. If it doesn't, I know God has a plan and it happened for a reason. When going through something like this, I often have thought why me? Why did God choose Sara? Why did God choose Hannah? And there are more. He was testing their Faith. At the end of the day, God is all you need. I don't need a baby to be a real woman. My life will be just as happy and fulfilled not having children, because God's grace is ENOUGH! It has taken me a LONG time to get to here today!

I'm so excited and nervous about the upcoming month. I start taking birth control pills for three days when my next cycle starts. I know that's weird to take birth control lol. I also start taking a shot every morning called Lupron. It basically shuts down your pituitary gland so that the brain isn't signalling the body to ovulate. I've been told this medication will make you completely spastic. Crying all the time, happy one minute, down the next. Pray for Jared. This could be a VERY long month for him. lol. May 3rd I start going to the doctor every other day. The egg retrieval will be May 17th, and the embryo transfer will be May 22nd. In the mean time, I'm on my knees praying and asking God for wisdom as we travel down this road. This may not be the answer for us, but God will have a lesson for us if it isn't.

The main thing I want people to know is that we are not broken. If anything we are stronger now than before. We are not struggling with life and depressed because we don't have a child yet. I think when you want something so badly, God wants you to realize you don't need it. You just need Him. And when you realize that, he usually works the most. My favorite verse right now is James 1:2," Consider it pure joy, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." It's so true! It's hard sometimes to see the good in bad situations, but it's a GREAT feeling when you know God is working on you! I'm so thankful for Jared, our supportive families, and supportive Church friends! My grandparents who have been a HUGE support and my grandma who has given me Godly advice. She is such a wonderful, Christian woman! She has always been there for me and I know she always will! Jared's parents have been very supportive and we are very thankful for them! They are definitely a BIG part of this process!! I can't wait to give our families a precious baby or babies!!! Our preacher's wife Kami has been a lifeline for me! She has such a comforting, compassionate nature. One of the best friends a girl could ask for, Jordan, who has been there for me through it all. It's amazing that we have always stayed friends no matter where life led us. She is such a wonderful mother and Christian friend! I'm so proud of who she has become today! This is the best I've felt since being on this journey. I think it is in part to the fact that I'm finally sharing our story. I hope that it touches people's lives!
The longer you wait for something, the more you will appreciate it! I know God will make us parents one day. We are praying it is through IVF, but if it isn't we will still praise Him!

Our test will become our test-imony, our mess will become our mess-age!