Ultrasound Scan #2

I went in today for my second scan and was very apprehensive because I knew that my lining and estrogen had to be increased significantly. My lining was up to a 6.8mm and my estrogen was up to 149 which is an improvement. I still need them both to increase quite a bit before the IUI. If my lining isn't near a 10 on Friday then we will have to cancel this cycle. Fear and panic swept over me again. I just didn't want our money to go down the drain at this point.
Update: Nurse Jacie called me this afternoon and told me my estrogen was up but not enough. so I had to put on an estrogen patch. I'm hoping this patch works to increase my levels. I had a dream I was praying to God begging and pleading with him to allow this to work. I woke up and my pillow was soaked from crying and I was continuing to pray without even being aware. I'm so glad that I have an almighty God that has the last say in everything to go to! I don't know how people go throughout their life without God! I don't know what I would do without him!

IUI Cycle #2, First Ultrasound Scan

Today we are starting our next cycle of IUI. I went for my first scan today it is cycle day 8 for me today. I wasn't really anticipating bad news, I did so well the last time that I wasn't expecting anything different. I got okay news but not wonderful. I had four follicles total growing which is great, however, my estrogen levels were low...only 56. It should be over 100, and my lining was only 5.4mm. Dr. J. was very concerned. He said that I wasn't responding to the shots as well as I did last time. He said that if my lining wasn't 10mm in four days then the cycle would be cancelled. Ahh! All I could think about is, "Oh, NO! We are going to lose all this money!?" He increased my follistim shots to 50iu instead of the usual 25iu. I came home and took my first shot! Easy Breezy!

Remembering Matthew...

  Today has been 10 years since Matthew passed away! It's so hard to believe that he has been gone this long. My life continues everyday and I get older every year. Matthew will always be 11 to me. I often wonder what would he be like today? What would he be doing? He will be 22 years old this year! WOW! I miss him dearly, but I've learned over the years to be positive. He is rejoicing in Heaven with Jesus! I'm so jealous of him! I can't wait until the day I get to see him again! I thank God for the time we had with him! He touched so many people and he still does today!

Some stories I have of Matthew...

One thing that always makes me laugh is that Matthew loved women's high heels. He liked the sound that they would make on the floor. Our Aunt, Patty, always wore high heels. Matthew would follow her around the house and tell her that she had cute shoes! Then he might try them on and click them around a few times.

The BEST memory I have of Matthew was the night he got saved. He was having trouble sleeping and came and woke me up and asked me if I knew what would happen to me if I died. I said yes I would go to Heaven and he asked how I knew that. He told me he was scared about dying and go to hell. I talked with him about being saved and led him through the Bible. I told him it was something no one could do for him, he had to do it himself. So he prayed a sinners prayer and after he was done he had tears coming out of his eyes. He said he had a calm feeling inside and he wasn't afraid anymore. I was a little hesitant being he was young. But I got saved when I was eight and that's how old he was. Fast forward to a week before he died...his mom was cooking in the kitchen and Matthew came into the kitchen and asked her if she knew where she was going to go when she died. She asked him why he was asking her questions. He said, "Mommy, don't worry about me when I die, I know I'm going to Heaven. I'm saved. My sissy talked to me about it." It was weird at the time. Now, it's a gift from God that he said that. I had been worried after he died what if he didn't understand? or what if he really wasn't and thought he was? When Matthew's mom told me this story a peace came over me. I knew in my heart for sure that he was in Heaven. I'm thankful for the preparation that God gave Matthew the weeks before he died. Many, many things happened that we didn't think twice about at the time. Now it all makes perfect sense. I'm so thankful God had his hand on Matthew. And I'm so thankful that I had the opportunity to lead him to Jesus.

Bad News...



This is Courtney!!




Those were the very words, "Alis we have bad news", I received today at 3:00. I went this morning for my blood test to see if I was pregnant. I had taken multiple home pregnancy tests and they were all negative, so I knew in my heart that it was probably not going to be good. I was bummed even though deep down I knew. Dr. J's nurses, Courtney & Jacie, called me to tell me the news. I could tell as soon as I heard her voice that it was negative. To top it all off...my grandma and I were shopping in Babies-R-Us when I got the call. My grandma handled it worse than I did. She just didn't want me to hurt. I really had thought this would work even though the chance of it working was only 15-20%, which is what normal couples have each month. God really gave me the peace and comfort I needed. We had a Valentine banquet at Church and I had to MC the newlywed game. The banquet really took my mind off of what I was thinking and feeling. The following couple of days...I crashed. My hormones were dropping due to the lack of medication I had been on, and I literally felt like someone had died. After many conversations together, Jared and I decided to try it again. You have the highest chance of it working the second time around. We decided that after this time if it doesn't work, we will move on to IVF.



This is Jacie!



Cake Tasting!

My lifelong friend, Audrey, is getting married October 12th! Today we are having a cake tasting at her parent's house. I'm so excited to be a part of the planning process!! I'm so incredibly happy for Audrey. She is such a sweet, wonderful woman of God and I'm so glad she found the love of her life! She deserves so much happiness!

IUI is Finally Here!

It's so hard to believe that we had the procedure today! It has been the longest two weeks I've had to experience so far! I know the two week waiting period will be TOUGH! I'm so nervous/excited to see what the outcome is. Even if our test is negative..I feel so positive and relieved to be doing something to achieve having a baby.

Adding a Medication to My List

Today I started progesterone suppositories. I was nervous about the application of the suppositories because it's very important to get it close to the cervix. My IUI is tomorrow and I've been praying non-stop! Crazy that even when I went to sleep my mind was still talking to God. I even woke up and was praying without even knowing. I know Jesus is making intercession for us, regardless of the outcome. I know God's plan is so much bigger than I could even imagine. I'm excited about tomorrow and nervous! No matter what the outcome...Jesus is on my side!